As parents we want our children to be happy and healthy, we want what is best for our kids, but sometimes situations arise and we are at a loss as to what to do. We all make mistakes, no one is perfect. We all need guidance and resources at some point. I strive to provide guidance when it comes to hair care through information, stories, tips, and how to’s. A mother recently came to me for some advice on her daughters’ relaxed hair, I asked for permission to share her story on the blog, in hopes of reaching out to others who have problems with their children and their hair.
My willful daughter, Patrice, is 9 years old. She is one feisty, fiery red-head! We have hair nightmares! She is so stubborn! She also has ADHD and Anxiety so she is super impulsive (cuts her own hair when she is bored) and worries nonstop about how she looks (even though she does silly stuff like cut her own hair!) When she was a toddler she would let me comb her hair out and braid it or twist it.
Then she got older and started screaming and wiggling so much that I couldn't hold her still enough to do anything. Her hair was so course that I couldn't even get a comb through it. She was miserable. She hated her hair and begged to have straight hair. I read so many books to her about natural hair, tried to help her say "I love my Hair." We got picture books full of styles she could choose from, but she still just couldn't stand to look at herself. Our stylist is white with mixed kids and she trained under a black stylist. When they decided Patrice was old enough, they relaxed her hair. She hasn't been natural ever since. She was 6 years old, when she got her first relaxer.
Now she is in a stage of freaking out any time I try to do anything to her hair. She won't let me help brush it, she won't let me put any product in it. She's been seeing a lot of breakage as a result. We are just starting to get to a point where she's letting me put some "slimy stuff" (as she calls it) in her hair again because I keep telling her that if she doesn't she won't have any hair left! She has an answer for that too--she says, "I'll just cut it all off then and start growing my 'fro back!"
Just last month I told our stylist that Patrice was talking about going back to natural. I need to look into options on how to make the transition go smoothly. I ordered all of the products you posted on your blog for after-swimming care and if she doesn't let me put them in this summer, she might not have any relaxed hair left--it will all just break off and we can start over. That's not how she wants to look, but it is what will happen if she doesn't let me help her take care of her hair. Our bee mine luscious moisturizer just came in the mail yesterday. We also got her a satin pillow case since she refuses to sleep in a cap. She loves the pillow now and there was a difference in her hair right away--fewer knots! She says she is sure she wants to go back to natural, so I'll be looking for more info.
I want to sincerely thank Jen for sharing her daughters hair story with us all. Is there anyone out there with a similar story? Can you provide any information, links, or tips for making the transition from relaxed to natural? Any advice to ensure that Patrice will stick to her decision to go back to natural and start to love and embrace her curls? Any tips for making hair time more enjoyable? Please add your comments below!
Do you have any “hair nightmares” you would like advice, information or tips on? Would you like to share your story in hopes of reaching out and inspiring others? Please email me at untrainedhairmom at gmail dot com
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